Friday, August 23, 2013

Skipping stones -

Skipping stones - that analogy and vision floated through my mind this morning as I thought  how to describe my life at times - and my interpersonal connections - skipping stones -  living life with an individual with autism or ANY disability - geriatric - pediatric - we skip stones daily, hourly and sometimes by the minute.

We are often told by professionals about our loved ones as IF we don't live with them and observe them every day. I have taken to skipping stones with these persons as well.  They leave and my life resumes without a ripple. Easier to skip stones then to dive deep. It's never worth it and never results in anything positive anyway.  Everyone knows your loved one better than you do and everyone has an opinion. But in the end the only opinion that matters is your own, and the only one left standing holding this basket of skipped stones is you. The basket gets heavy as you are unable to find a safe haven to unload it.

I put the stone skipping on different levels.

Talking to professionals  - skipping stones - waiting until they are finished so that you may resume your life.  They may mean well, but you know your life - you live it 24/7.

Acquaintances - friends - skipping stones - flying over the water - barely touching down - no one really wants to know the intimate details of your crazy life.

You become adept at skipping stones - skip stones for almost everyone - except a few chosen people  - this list grows shorter each year.

You look for kindred spirits who understand -  they  will allow you to dive into the depths - they will even dive with you,  but they are few and some are short lived as you tend (unintentionally) to burn out all but the most trusted friendships.

So you skip stones - hello - how  are you to the guy at the post office - just great you say - first stone of the day skipped successfully without a ripple on the water.

The day proceeds on much in the same fashion.

It is the way it is. It should be better - deeper - more meaningful - isn't life supposed to be meaningful  and conversation cathartic?  

You learn to drop your skipped stones into your basket at the end of  the day readying them for the next day and the next. The basket gets heavy but you continue on.  Perhaps you may never meet a person to share your basket, but you keep trying, because that is what you need to do.

I  keep a sharp eye out for stone skippers - someone in my secret club - we carefully unload our baskets together, and as they empty and stones pile up we feel a sense of freedom and release.

To all my fellow stone skippers-- I salute you for your bravery and I hope to meet you in my travels...



No comments:

Post a Comment