Friday, June 28, 2013

The soul of the matter....

I have been tossing around some thoughts as of late...trying to put my finger on what is missing...what is lost....what is wrong... why is the universe tilted a bit more than it should for my comfort.

It dawned on me today that there is a distinct  and measurable decrease in  the "soul factor"...

I suppose "soul" for many people can be defined in a variety of ways, but for me soul is the heart of the person, their philosophy, and their ethics, their ability to rise above and still when struggling do the right thing.  It's the guy coming home from an all night  shift who sees  a car about to careen into another human standing waiting for a bus, and dives in to save them, risking his own life in the process.

It's the mother who opts for life when she learns her baby has Down's syndrome. It's the coworker who donates a kidney.  It's those selfless, kind hearted acts that we all marvel at and wish we could emulate. It's soul.

It is the life of what and who we are as humans, and it is the loss of soul of compassion and kindness and a darkness that takes over us that dims this capacity and creates the chaos, and unkind acts that for some reason I seem to be seeing a lot of lately.

I love my customers from my little on line store, and their kind feedback feeds my soul and makes me go back to the table to try to be more creative and more productive.

For us all we have those sources of light and strength for our lives. Tap into those sources regularly, whatever they may work.. religion...volunteering.

Receiving or giving acts of genuine  kindness  are truly food for the soul....


Thursday, June 27, 2013

Flowers flowers flowers

I am trying to take the time to conjure up new ideas for flowers - we have shows in the fall and there never seem to be enough flowers available.

If I make blue flowers, everyone wants gray, if I make gray, teal is  the big request.

So I make what I like and hope that others do too.  I have also been concentrating on "baby things." Babies are a popular decorating  theme and I have been obsessed with pink and brown.  Owls are a huge theme at the moment as well. Not quite sure how some critters  move to the top of the animal heap in popularity, but they have been enjoying an upswing for the past year.  I chuckle to myself when I think about the predatory nature of owls and really not the cutesy little creatures to feature at a baby shower perhaps, but we all love owls and we forgive them for the naturally driven predatory instincts... We cut them poetic license I suppose to sit at the baby shower like a fuzzy little friend, (talons and beaks are NEVER part of the allure) and I get some sort of personal chuckle when featuring owls.

They are one of my favorite creatures and I respect them for all they do and they are magnificent to behold should you be so lucky to see one in nature. I saw one many years ago when I was a kid and I will never forget the site of him/her sitting proudly  on our porch railing in the failing light of sunset.

Baby girl garland with baby owl. 

enjoy your day... cate

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Finding Center ... in a off balance world

Recently I took a walk past a small garden  adjacent to a walkway in the yard. About a year ago I took the time to stencil words on broken shards of pottery.

I find that many of the things that Andrew does turns into fodder for creativity.  He broke some mugs and they became part of the garden "pottery graveyard." That in turn creates another outlet to create something new from something shattered.

That seems to be the story of my life... creating new  dreams from shattered hopes.

In the depths of despair, Papercatz was born.  When mugs break I create garden memorabilia, when clothes get shredded I use the shreds for recyclable packing. Refusing, I guess on some subliminal level to let autism win.

As I looked at this mini garden I noticed two things; 1. Ripley, our very loved but  maniac labrador had begun to undermine the edges with relentless digging. (I always wonder what is he looking for?) Ripley is very much like the lab from the Jennifer Aniston movie Marley and Me. Loveable but slightly insane and utterly clueless to the chaos he brings to every event.

 Only he knows why he digs. But his newest conquest was the edge of my garden. Last week it was a branch from the butterfly bush, the week before that the hydrangea was almost uprooted. Is he looking for something? Why do dogs dig? Why does Ripley dig? Because he can... and does incessantly.  We have many gopher ankle twister holes in the yard always being filled in, only to be dug out again.  Maybe he could join a dog road crew and get busy cleaning up pot holes. I'll have him ready at 7 a.m. and I'll even pack his lunch if someone would just keep him busy and out of trouble all day!

I digress...

When I looked at my mini garden, after assessing Ripley's renovations, I saw words I had stenciled onto these shards... Hope, Faith, Dream, Laugh and on this particular day I wondered if the exercise of painting these words was an exercise in hope for me that I could remember to practice and participate in these lovely words. Dream? Dream of what? I am sometimes not sure what to dream about or for ... so busy am I just surviving it would seem.  Hope? Hope for what exactly?  and Faith? Faith in what? A cure for autism, a hope for a successful business, health, happiness... what exactly do these words mean?

On this particular day, sadly the words fell flat and I could only stare at them missing their meaning and caught in a vacuum.

Andrew had been particularly diffcult that week and I realized that my "center" - my compass -  was his center. If he was off. I was off. If he was okay I was okay and I never realized my gravity and my balance lie squarely with him... who knew an autistic kid held my happiness in his  moods.. If he is happy so am I. If he is not neither am I. We are dysfunctionally symbiotic...

So this week I try to re embrace those words, plan for the business, create new things and get involved in tackling things long overdue.

I am searching for center... and I am a bit closer to finding it...