SIMPLE DREAMS - The art of doing nothing...

It dawned on me the other day as I watched my cat lounging on the couch that to be a cat might not be a bad thing. She lounged with a sense of relaxation  only a cat could emulate.. I was jealous... It was 15 degrees outside.  We had been hit by two "polar vortexes" (buzz weather word this year) and yet she  seemed to have a devil may care cavalier attitude about all of it.  I pondered if I could squeeze next to her just to grab a little "cat nap." The sun was streaming in the front window and despite the cold outside the living room was toasty warm and the couch was incredibly inviting. I thought she might not mind sharing the space - she looked at me rather, peevishly , however and with an almost imperceptible eye brow lift as if to say "Don't crowd me."

But... my human nature overtook me and I thought about all the things I needed to do and chose instead to "work." I left the lounging to her.  I spent the day working and also thinking about the counter cultural split man versus pet and I was for just a few moments drawn into the simplest of thought processes. What would it be like to get up and have "nothing" to do but eat... sleep... play a bit...eat a bit and sleep a bit more.  Would we humans tolerate such a schedule? Would our brains atrophy if we were to put them to such low level usage? Would we be happy returning to a simpler state of being like our furry friends? I cannot answer those questions for I have forgotten the art of relaxing... as have many of us.  We are surrounded by gadgets and gizmos that beg our attention and demand our fingers or eyes be engaged 24/7. I am annoyed by this lately, screens that grab our attention, phones that whistle, squawk, buzz, vibrate. Enough... I want to shout.. just be still.

Tabitha - lounging - 

Thomas, her brother, prefers the floor. 

Our carriage barn - chock full of crafty ideas

The polar vortex has created 4 foot icicles on the barn

Ruby often assists in the barn - she loves to lay by the pellet stove! 

I often dream about it, but work always calls me... I dream about being surrounded by piles of creative magazines and books and just reading and ripping out pages for future inspiration and having  just the time of my life in a sea of  magazines on my bed! Maybe one day I could live this dream.  I think about it a lot and often think about getting away to a massive farmhouse in New England with a few good friends and "nesting" enjoying company, conversation and the art of doing nothing...

Dreams can and do come true sometimes so I have not relinquished my hopes to launch these simple dreams.

cate :)

WINTER - 2014- CrAzY

Winter rolled in with blasts of weather that I can honestly not conjure up memories of weather so absurd, unpredictable and chaotic that it defies expectations.

Mornings that can start out at 0 degrees and turn into afternoons in the 40's and vice versa.

We saw a frigid cold of 2 just a few days ago - which was accompanied by a blast of snow to the depth of approximately 8 inches only to see that wiped out  a few days later with fog, torrential rains, and now mud with barely a trace of the 8 inches left a mere three days later.

We are expected to see frigid temps tonight near 1 degree - only to wake to a morning in the 50's.  It is rather interesting, bizarre but frightening.

an outdoor fire pit treated to a snowy cap!

chilly!

frosty snow like winter's cupcake icing, perfectly formed and shimmering

Holidays - Love them - but need them to be over....

As much as the feverish ramp up to Holiday season leaves us gasping for air and pushing the midnight oil, I find I like it less and less... sad to feel that way..  but honestly I find myself yearning for a larger meaning to the whole spin of the season.

The stores begin to ramp up in October and there is a mad dash to get through Halloween, Thanksgiving and then the icing on the cake -- the crown of the holidays! Christmas.  The packages get opened, the food gets eaten and with a big sigh, a few hugs, an Alka Seltzer or two it's over. Slamming the door on another year.

Could it be better? more memory making? sincere? simple? authentic?  I'd like to think so, but it's  hard to change  years of history and store sabotage.

We had a simple tree in the barn - only 4 foot tall - fresh cut nearby - very dainty and simple - decked out in  paper ornaments, garlands and pinecones.  A larger tree stood outside dressed simply in lights. We made a bonfire in front of it on Christmas eve - but it was so chilly it was hard to sit there and not shiver! Wonderful snow flurries dressed the tree on the eve which was a magical event.

I truly long for a simple holiday - fresh snow falling, a panoramic view, a fire in the fireplace, a pie in the oven, and a simple enjoyment of friends/family bringing and sharing gifts from the heart and hands not stores.

I am going to try that next year and see what happens. Throw down the gauntlet to change the memories and create a new ideal Christmas holiday.

Papercatz tree in barn studio-decked out with paper and nature themed ornaments. 

pinecone decked out in sparkle-sparkly paper birds

burlap cardinal with clothespin

cranberry and evergreen mason jar with simple light table decoration

Counting stars - living the live you have

I was recently speaking to a friend who relayed to me a story about a young man stricken with a brain tumor - whose subsequent surgery has left him essentially unable to speak, walk properly or engage in those activities he was fully accustomed to doing  as a young man of 27.  She relayed how the family was upset and understandably worried and distraught at his lack of ability to be "who he used to be."

I believe that living the life that I do - with a son who is severely disabled by autism - leads me to see this young man's situation and life in general in a different light.  I see the optimism versus the pessimism and I see a life worth living and worth fighting for even if he never returns to his former function. I see a blessing of him surviving 5 surgeries, infection and numerous set backs. I see a warrior and a survivor and someone I truly admire and would encourage to fight on.

I understand how his family feels --they have "lost" who they knew - they have had to replace their fully functional and independent son and brother with a facsimile of his former self and they are undeniably and understandably upset and discouraged.

Living the life I have has led me to counting stars  - I count blessings in the every day hurdles accomplished - in hours, minutes and seconds - I count stars for what I have not what I wish I had or would like to have had.   I count stars every day for the simplest things. A beautiful sunset stopped me in my car yesterday evening, breathtaking and blessed - mother nature sending us messages that I hope we take note of.

We rush - stumble and race through life forgetting to count the stars - a dog's funny antics - a kitten tumbling with its mouse toy, a  time of peaceful thoughtfulness, lunch with a friend, a baby's first smile - so many things.

I feel so blessed to have met my son and to have him in my life. He has taught me to count stars every day not for what I wish I had , but for what I have...

Blessings,

cate

Fast and furious - No rules autism

Growing in knowledge with an individual with autism is a never ending, changing set of dynamics. Treating and caring for an adult with autism is an even more challenging set of rules for which you have never been shown the rule book.  To navigate you wing it - fly by the seat of your pants - and careen around uneven corners of guessing. The compass is missing the navigational parts and you spend a lot of time hoping your hunches will pan out.

When we started this journey Andrew was 3 years old.  Like  a computer hard drive mother nature/genetics had forgotten to hardwire his brain with typical human essential information.    He came without a manual, or instructions.

Simple baby games did not happen for him, and tasks inherent (one would think) to all young toddlers were no in his repertoire. Clap hands became a lesson, waving bye bye became a lesson, touch your nose or your toes became a lesson.

We piled in the learning as fast as his brain would retain it and some things have stuck to this day, though not enough growth has emerged from these hard won lessons to withstand the test of time

As Oprah would say "What I know" is that I know autism is complex, taxing, physically and emotional challenging for caregivers and destined to defy expectations or plans.  No one knows what to tell you or how to repair or regenerate those areas of the brain that remain defective and damaged.

We find as we enter the young adult years - the demands become more challenging, the behaviors more complex and the answers even harder to find.  New behaviors crop up daily, weekly, hourly and we rise to the challenge as best we can with suppositions and logical (we hope) responses to behaviors we cannot understand.

Why is it so difficult for him to transition from one surface to another - stopping as if there is an invisible barrier between wood floor and tile. We don't know, we simply hope to move him past this unseen obstacle.

We move forward at a snail's place, but forward is always our goal.

We are never totally defeated but we are totally challenged. However, we rejoice in his presence in our life and as Tiny Tim said in A Christmas Carol - God Bless us everyone!

merry holidays

cate

Holiday spirit

Some photos to share and to keep for myself to look back on ... memories.

Ripley (bad boy) and Asa good boy - Lab and Border Collie pals. Looking happy after breadstick treats! 

Waiting for the turkey to finish its cooking cycle!  Smells yummy! 

Happy Holiday, 

cate :)

Enjoying the simple pleasures - getting busy for the holidays

We have been working hard in the shop - We have a small team of helpers for Andrew  as he requires assistance and redirection to work - but work he does and it seems quite enjoyable lately.

We have holiday tunes in the background and we have determined Frosty the Snowman is the #1 hit.  We also baked a tray of cookies last week that Andrew helped us put on the cookie sheet.  We try every day to make each day productive and enjoyable.

We have been working very hard on Holiday products. We were approached by a local special services school to put some of our flower arrangements in the school for sale - our helper Andrew M attends this school and I would be proud to show off some of his work.

Christmas trees have been assembled this past week for a trip up to Hoboken - there is a  tiny forest of trees ready to make the journey and I hope that our customers enjoy these little harbingers of the holidays to come.

They are one of a kind and each one is a little different.  Both Andrew and Andrew M help to punch the circles for the trees and assist with some of the assembly.

We also have been making gift tags, holiday glass balls, vintage ornaments and I hope interesting items for our friends in Hoboken.

Peace,

Cate

The finished products - our woodland tags with hand punched snowflakes.

Creating is sometimes messy, but fun as the glass stones sparkle across the table.